A Case of the "What Ifs" by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast
Have you ever noticed what a huge impact the phrase "what if" has on our
lives. We use it all the time without meaning to and sometimes we even let it
control our lives. To be honest, I'm a big fan of escapism...of fantasy.
It's a necessary thing and makes our lives more exciting, or in some cases,
more bearable. There's nothing wrong with occasional flights of fancy.
In fact, it's likely to be emotionally healthy. Of course, occasional
flights of fancy aren't what I am discussing in this article. I'm discussing
a case of the "what ifs".
What if I were rich?
What if I won the lottery next week?
What if I could have anything I wanted?
What if I could afford to buy a Michelango?
What if I were famous?
What if I were successful?
What if I were happier?
What if I were better looking?
Taken all together, it's sounds quite self-defeating doesn't it? The occasional "what if"question isn't harmful, but when you start using the phrase constantly, it turns into a prophecy of all the things you are not. Even worse, it makes you believe that you are less than you are. There are a number of different people I know that fall into this trap and even I occasionally fall into it.
Two people I know swear that they they are going to win the lottery every week. So, every week they spend their money on tickets and hope and pray that this week is their week. They truly expect that they are going to win and they are always faced with bitter dissapointment when their numbers do not come up. Their "what if" turns into an "if only".
I have friends who just know that the next MLM or "Get-Rich-Quick" scheme is going to be their ticket to wealth. Protesting the validity of the methods doesn't work because the answer is always the same. "Yeah, but what if it works?". What can you say to such a statement? You don't want to dampen their spirits or destroy their dreams, but sometimes you just feel like saying "Yeah, but what if it doesn't?" in response. As in the case of the people I know who think they are going to win the lottery every week, it always ends up turning into an "if only".
As far as I am personally concerned, my husband and I are working towards the goal of owning wooded land outside of town. I am taken with a case of the "what ifs" occasionally as well. I ask myself "What if we were able to save the money faster?", "What if I were rich enough to simply buy it?" and so on and so forth. After those questions are asked, it turns into "If only I were able to save the money faster!" and "If only I were rich enough to simply buy it!". I am in no way immune to a case of the "what ifs" or the "if onlys".
If is one of those words in our language that has more power than it should. We all have areas in our lives that we would like to change and it's healthy to have a goal that you want to work towards, but be careful of those little phrases that mean so much more than they should. Those little phrases are excuses that sometimes inhibit our ability to actually reach the goals we make. For example, spending ten dollars a week on lottery tickets means that you spend $520 a year on the chance that you might win something. That's $5,200 every ten years. That money could have been saved or invested or it could have been spent on items that actually make your life more interesting, fun or exciting.
It's so easy to use the excuse of temporary excitement (anticipating our possible winnings, waiting for our "numbers" to come up") but we tend to forget the feeling of let-down (when our numbers don't come up or when we don't win that money) that often comes along with it. I don't ask that you never have a case of the "what ifs" again, I simply ask that you think about the matter the next time that you do. Actually, I have a list of "what ifs" that are a bit more practical and useful than those I used above. Enjoy your flight of fancy!
What if I can be more frugal?
What if I am happy with what I have?
What if I love myself for who I am?
What if I am confident?
What if I can teach myself a new skill?
What if I allow myself to enjoy life?
What if I enjoy my time with my family?
What if I am an amazing person?
To use the phrases properly, simply take away the case of "what ifs" and repeat the phrases often. It's truly amazing what a difference a few small words make.
Best Wishes,
Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast
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